Friday, December 12, 2014

Difficult times...

I was not going to post about this anywhere, but I have changed my mind.  This past year I've been struggling with heart issues, and female health problems.  Without giving you TMI... (too much info), I am scheduled for surgery on Thursday, December 18th.  I will be having a hysterectomy and pelvic prolapse repair robotic surgery. 

The last two weeks have been extremely frustrating.. WAITING for this to happen. I've been in constant low-grade pain, and trying to get ready for the holidays has been a real challenge. I went to my Urologist on Tuesday and while waiting, I had a full on panic attack when they told me what they were going to test. So my blood pressure went through the roof. That sent the Urologist into a tizzy, and she sent me to the ER.  I am rolling my eyes thinking about this.. but I know it was for the best.. but such DRAMA was very annoying.  The ER I went to was Hoag Irvine, and they were extremely on the ball.  Brought my BP down, and released me.  Of course they made sure I had an EKG, chest xrays, and gave me this wonderful medicine to bring down my anxiety.  I was able to sleep all night without waking up once.

The most insidious of this, is the amount of waiting I've had to endure.  I've been waiting to get this done since September.  Some of you know I am not the most patient person in the world, and so the anticipation has been causing a lot of anxiety.  To say that I want to be done with this whole thing is an understatement.

I know all will be fine once I am healed from the surgery, and I will feel 100% better than I have had this past year.

I also wanted to tell you about an inspiring conversation I had with my Mom. We both were feeling inspired to speak with one another.  I am so grateful she is still on this earth.  I cherish the relationship I have with her.  She has been my guiding force in my life. Lately, I know I have not told her how much she means to me.. and today I was able to express that to her. 

Love is an amazing thing.  It breaks barriers, it lifts us up in times of difficulty. I want to thank those of you that have messaged me, and called me to help.  You have no idea what a blessing you are in my life.  I feel the love and support from all of you, and it helps me get through these times.

Love one another, forgive one another and tell people you love them.  Cherish the time you have with each of your loved ones.. and open your heart. You never know how your love will help someone open their hearts as well. Its an incredibly inspiring thing to do.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, or any traditions you celebrate. May you have a wonderful 2015...

Peace in Music,


Sunday, December 7, 2014

Best Ever You BlogTalk Radio Show

Join Elizabeth Guarino and her co-host Walter E. Jacobson as they interview me tomorrow morning on the Best Ever You BlogTalk Radio Show! We will be chatting about the positives in spite of the negatives in my life!  This is your chance to call in and ask questions or just join us in the chat room while listening to the show.

Click on the link below:

Best Ever You BlogTalk Radio Show

Friday, November 14, 2014

Fear is the mind killer

Disclaimer - I am not a into Scientology, but I did enjoy the Dune series by Frank Herbert -

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

 Lately, I've been tossed a handful of trials. I know mine are not near as crazy as I have seen happening to my friends, but they are my demons. Mostly, the marketing and promo of my music. It takes SO much time. The effort to get my name and music out there is an enormous task. One that has almost taken me out. See, the past year I was working, creating a crowd-funding project with PledgeMusic. Everyday I had to post, everyday I was out talking with local businesses. It took so much energy out of me, that when the actual day all the exclusives were due to be shipped, I was exhausted. HOWEVER, we- you and me, were able to create a positive synergy between us. I am VERY grateful for that. I was humbled, and still am. I will never forget. Now, the REALLY hard work needs to happen, the marketing and promo for "Fire in the Rainstorm" needs to be set for the actual release of the album in May 2015. I will most likely be doing something creative to make this happen. As I began to THINK about this process, my mind melted. Asking for help is difficult. I do ask because I am not funded by a label.. and so I became fearful, to the point where I was having a difficult time motivating myself to rehearse. On top of all this fear, is impending surgery in December. I didn't want to say anything about it, because I don't want you to feel sorry for me. Its something that HAS to happen. If it doesn't, I will be in constant pain, and I need to be FOCUSED when the marketing and promo starts for this album.

AND my computer that I work heavily with, is archaic. I didn't even notice, until I tried to upgrade to OS X Mavericks. I called Apple and they did give me some bad news. Time for a new computer. I will need to research which NEW mac I will need. I don't have time for dis! LOL I ALSO plan on filming each week and uploading a track that I want to share and play on YouTube.. another social networking thing. I know I don't have to do that..but I am also planning some REALLY fun ideas to go along with it. ( REALLY OVERWHELMED BY NOW )

 Today, I looked at my piano and sat on the bench, lovingly touching the keys, telling my muse how nervous, anxious I am. I played for 2 HOURS!!!! I played my heart out today. Today, I gave up my pain, sorrows, fears to my music and played some amazing tunes.. new things, old tunes, classical tunes I learned long ago, Christmas music I learned a few years ago. As the music washed over me while playing, I cried, I smiled.. I felt at peace.

I know things will work out.. just as the recording for "Fire in the Rainstorm" worked out. I had my pity party, felt sorry for myself for 10 minutes, and what really made a difference, was my hubs. I called him in my state, and he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear.. he told me to get it done. I am SO grateful for that. I am one LUCKY, BLESSED woman.. and I KNOW it...

more to come...

Friday, October 10, 2014

Many Miles Music - Roads

Oh its FRIDAY!  Which means the weekend.  After yesterdays post, I thought I'd lighten the mood up with some music!

My friend Damon Buxton from Many Miles Music put together a compilation titled "Roads"... 18 artists I believe, that encompass some really amazing talent!  Many of which I am friends with, and have met and others I've only messaged through FB and other places.

I invite you to listen and if your ears are delighted with the sounds... please support us and buy the music as well as share with your friends!

Thursday, October 9, 2014


In my short life, I've met some good people, and some not very good people. For the most part, I've never had to place boundaries on anyone... simply because isn't a friendship based on mutual respect and common sense? Do I need to spell out to people and fans what common courtesy is or how to treat people? Just because you are behind a computer screen does not give you the right to threaten if I don't do what you want.  THAT my friends is NOT a friendship.. its a twisted view of how the world works according to selfishness and insecurity. When I go out of my way to help.. I do NOT expect people to cross over the lines of common courtesy and I will never EVER respond to threats.

Because of a few incidents, I've had to take pains to block people, and downright ignore emails from people that cannot have ANY common courtesy towards my life...

I have friends that I don't talk to every hour of the day, let alone skype every hour of the day.. these are life long friendships born of a healthy respect of one another's space and deep love.  When we DO talk it maybe once in 3 month time period.. it may be communication via mail or email or phone, sometimes we go 6 months without talking.  Its just how friendships are.

Please understand, that I really value comments, questions and conversations.  Just know that I will not always respond in your time frame, but I will.  Lets be clear though.. I will NEVER respond when I don't feel comfortable, or if I feel that the help I have given is taken advantage of and again.. never will I respond to: "If you don't talk to me, I will return all your music, or etc.." This kind of behavior only causes bad feelings and if that is what you wish to do, go ahead return whatever you deem as necessary.

ps.. I am NOT your licensed therapist....

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Getting back into the swing of it...

Its been a busy summer with my children. I have not touched the piano in weeks. Yesterday I took some time out to play the piano.  I was able to get an hour in.. but it was not enough time.  I am doing some things this weekend that will keep me from the music, which I am a little out of sorts about, but its fun stuff!

Its so hard to stay balanced all the time, and I am really out of balance. My goals for the coming new week is to spend as much time on the piano and also finish up a project I am working on for a friend of mine. 

I also wanted to share a podcast I had the opportunity to be a part of.  A few years ago I traveled to Imaginary Road Studios to tape a radio interview with John Diliberto of Echoes.  I had the opportunity to perform with Will Ackerman, Scarlet Rivera, Jill Haley, David Cullen, Jeff Oster, Derrik Jordan.  We recorded a Holiday program, as well was interviewed. It was super cool.  So if you need something to listen to while doing the dishes, homework or just need to relax, check it out:

Echoes - Kori Linae Carothers  ( This is on iTunes)

If you can't find it there you can listen here via my website:

For more information on Echoes, please visit their website at:

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Messages I am receiving..

The Steinway B at Imaginary Road Studios 

This is what came in my messages today… I am SO grateful for all of you that message me. Fire in the Rainstorm was and IS a very personal, intimate look into my life.. because this is just me and the piano..
From Tom Foth:
"I have just found the right time to listen to the album. I actually NEED to listen to the album tonight, if you know what I mean. Thanks for sending out the track with Jeff Oster… that’s how I came to find you… from a song by you and Jeff on Pandora.
A great pianist (like you) always surprises me by the expressiveness they can get from a keyboard.
I’m listening to NuNu’s Sunrise… and I can actually feel your heart… your soul… through your arms to your hands and fingers… out through the strings of the piano. It is a very intimate connected feeling to have with you. Sacred.
I wonder how many people realize how you have opened your soul to this level of intimacy?
Thank you for being brave and being so generous with… you.
It was an honor to have a small part of this.
p.s. Tidal Rift is playing now…. wow… tears… thank you.
Just listened to Liberty… are you kidding??? Wow oh Wow… Amazing.”
I am speechless.. thank you VERY much Tom.

Monday, August 4, 2014

I love flowers and cooking

I wanted to tell you about something I love to do other than compose music.  I enjoy gardening AND cooking. 

If I owned a Bed and Breakfast, I would have a garden there with lots of herbs, and especially roses and gerber daisies.  I love the beautiful colors.  A few days ago I went to Trader Joes and they had scores of these awesome gerber daisies.  Sometimes I like to pick some up for my friends. They are sitting on my table as I type this.  

Gerber Daisies
I also enjoy cooking! I like to whip up a batch Beef Stroganoff using fresh sour cream and gravy. Fresh scallions, mushrooms and ground peppercorns, with a dash of sea salt. I use rice to pour the stroganoff onto it.  Then if I have frozen broccoli I steam it, or get fresh broccoli and steam that.

Lately, I have discovered flavoring my water too, with a slice of lemon and cucumber. SO delicious to drink on crazy hot days.  I like to cook on the grill, and prepare paleo meals for myself, and for my family they like the breads I bake. I know whats in the breads, whether it is a zucchini orange bread or a regular homemade loaf of fresh bread, I feel better about them eating that instead of the grocery bought breads out there.

Don't feel too threatened... I don't bake bread all the time, there are some great breads at Trader Joes that I love to buy and the kids will actually eat. 

There is a bed and breakfast in Southern Utah that I've been just thinking about what it would be like to buy it and run it.  What a HUGE change of pace it would be.  On the one hand, would I be consumed by running a place like that and it take over my musical life? I don't know if I would really care for it messing with me .. BUT I could buy a grand piano and place it in the dining area, and play it for the guests and have my musical friends come and perform.... hmmm what an interesting thought....


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Major distributors and labels... my thoughts. *Warning rant*

Here is some advice for those of you wanting to get major distribution: 

DON'T go with a label.. period.  You want full control of your music rights AND you don't want to go with major distribution.  They take a huge cut, your label takes a cut, and by the time you get any money from your sales, its so pitiful that its a joke!! IF you choose to do it.. read the below before you sign anything: 

I've had 3 really bad experiences with label and major distribution. Partially my fault on account I didn't want the hassle of keeping track of what I sell AND I didn't understand how it all worked, also I thought "ooo if I get my music into some big distributor I made it into the big leagues." Man what WAS I thinking? This whole mess was a HUGE misconception on my part. 

Nowadays we have the ability to distribute our own music via CD Baby.  I've never had any problems with them. Unfortunately for me, I made a bad business decision and took two of my albums off of CD Baby, and go with a distribution label.. which promised a lot but became a dud. How you may ask? My name was misspelled, and the sales reports were dismal in the fact they were never detailed like: who sold my music digitally/physically, where etc. There were other things, that really bothered me, but I don't have time to go into them. When I complained, I was told "oh I was so EVER lucky to be with the two biggest distribution companies ever."  Don't be manipulated by that kind of talk.  

Watch out for the middleman because they have NO interest in you... just the dollar signs.  The attitudes these people have are so condescending, I decided it was time to part ways. 

The current business model with these guys is the 20th Century way of thinking.. its the 21st century people.. lets do something different and out of the box!! 

Now I am free to do whatever I want.... WOO HOO! 


Friday, July 4, 2014

At last....

FITR is off to Disc Makers to be manufactured... YAY.. read more about it here:

At Last - Fire in the Rainstorm update

Have a Happy 4th!!  Love.. k 

Monday, June 30, 2014

My mind won't be quiet... Pledge post

Fire sunset

Check out new Pledge post! Will you come and help? I would love it if you could!




Monday, June 23, 2014

Humbled beyond belief...

I’ve really been humbled, not in a bad way.. in a VERY good positive enlightened way. This week, I’ve been in a panic in a way, feeling the stress of getting this album manufactured and into pledger hands.  Feeling the stress of taking care of financial 
things, and I was feeling a little out of it... UNTIL I received a very uplifting email from Pledger Tom Foth. Tom has been watching my journey from when I tried and failed with the Kickstarter campaign a few years ago.  Back then, he believed in me and my music, and even now he is with us at Pledge. 

Why did I fail with Kickstarter? I believe it had to do with my attitude, my whole spiritual self was out of alignment.  I placed myself on a path that was destructive to myself, and I wasn’t really ready to take on a Kickstarter campaign at that time ( hindsight mind you). I had a pity party, and snapped out of it. 

In 2012, my attitude changed, I became centered within my centered spirit. Summer of 2013, I felt a vulnerability that has left me open to the changes that are happening to me this past year. It takes a HUGE amount of trust to let go, and to do something so different and scary, that this journey has taught me about myself and others. For example, this letter I received from Tom this past week, I wanted to share with you what  because what Tom wrote to me explains exactly what I am talking about: 

“I just want you to know that I've been quietly reading every word and (not successfully) trying to listen to the tracks (I want them to be a surprise!).  As I wrote before when you first attempt failed, I believe in you and your music.

You're among the best!”

What Tom said, really hit me in my heart.  Tears, came down my cheeks and I can’t tell you what that meant to me.  THIS  ^^ my friends is what music is all about.  You guys all believe in me and my music.. and I am SO humbled and thankful for your belief in me.  

Now that we are coming down to the wire, I’d really like to see us hit 200% of our goal.  Why? So that the costs to promote the album and help cover all the marketing costs. I KNOW we can do it.  So many of you have rescued me... its time for me to rescue you with this album.  Banding together, is what this has been about.   

Come on by and become part of something that will last forever.  Click here to Pre-order or Pledge today and become immortalized! - FIRE IN THE RAINSTORM

All my love,


Friday, June 13, 2014


Hi everyone!

Its Friday, and I've uploaded a video and a track on 

Click here: - Fire in the Rainstorm

MORE to come... 



Wednesday, June 11, 2014

What does Reviewer Bill Binkelman think about Fire in the Rainstorm?

Not convinced?  Read this.. and you will be! 

Name your price baby!

So its Summer!  I am celebrating my forthcoming album by having a sale on ALL of my music.  Come to my website, and shop.. then NAME your price on all of my music. THAT is right. You have the freedom to choose what you want to pay!!  YAY!  


Also here is June's Newsletter.  

Photo by: Jason Wallis Photography
Want to pre-order Fire in the Rainstorm?, go here...


Want video?  You can visit my YouTube Channel and listen to me gab, or watch/hear the previews of the new music! YES!  Click here -> My YouTube

Thank you, ALL of you for your help, your love, and your support.  This journey to record and release this album has been amazing! I am looking for more good times with you!

All my love,


Saturday, May 24, 2014

Time Passages - Fire in the Rainstorm

Every Friday, I will be uploading videos about my music, stories about the music, and talk about my friends too. I may have a guest or two and do some collaborations with some of my musical friends.  If you have suggestions.. let me know! I am enjoying learning how to make videos.  

Check out the latest upload, and if you like what you see/hear leave a comment or two! 

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

In loving memory - Ardis Cari Collazo Marletta

My friend Cari passed from this world into the next on Saturday May 17, 2014.  She was a beautiful soul.  I will miss her Brooklyn accent, and her crazy sense of humor.  I wrote this long ago when I was performing my shows via streaming online into SecondLife.  I did a re-write and recorded it at Imaginary Road Studios, Vermont. 

Many people walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart -  Eleanor Roosevelt. 

Click on the picture, it will take you to the track or click here:  NUNU'S SUNRISE
NuNu's Sunrise
My thanks to those of you that have left footprints in my heart by joining me on my personal journey to release "Fire in the Rainstorm". 

More to come...


Monday, May 12, 2014

Happy May - Pledge Alert!

Oh hey!  Thank you for reading my words.  Without your support of my music, I would not be here today.  

I need to ask for help. While we went over our $4k goal at Pledge Music ( we hit 5k!!), I need $5k more to get this album manufactured and marketed.  My goal is to release the album first to the Pledgers, and then there is a release date of September 2014 for the rest of the world.  

As most of you know, I am deaf in my left ear.  I cannot mix, master or even record the album on my own.  I do have hearing, but it is not good enough for those three things. I need a producer to kick my ass in order to get the best possible music out of me.  So while it may be cheaper for some musicians to record their albums, for me its not.  Team Imaginary Road Studios aka Will Ackerman and Tom Eaton, work together quite well, and having them as producers with me, brought out the VERY best of music out of me. Much of the grueling work has been done, we still need to mix, master and manufacture the album.  There are many people that like digital albums, and there are people that like the physical album.  So I am going to release in both formats.

This is my life and dream, I cannot do this alone. You don't have to pledge thousands of dollars or even hundreds... you can Pledge from $10.00 up to $30.00 and you will get my music or even Will's music plus the new album!! There are extras that you can grab while Pledging. "Fire in the Rainstorm" is an album that is expressing my struggles and stories about my friends, in solo piano form.  I am also working on radio versions of some of the songs as well. 

You can click here to pledge today!  PLEDGEMUSIC - FIRE IN THE RAINSTORM

For those of you that have Pledged already, THANK YOU SO much! I am so grateful for those of your friendship(s) and for your awesome help with my music. 

More to come... 


Tuesday, May 6, 2014


Hey Everyone! 

So I am finally home from being gone 3 weeks. For two weeks I was working in Vermont, recording "Fire in the Rainstorm".. and then for a week I was in San Antonio Texas helping my daughter Claire.  She came back from Afghanistan, ( she is in the Army), and so she will be coming home on leave.  

Back to the recording... It was inspiring.. and humbling, amazing, tiring.. you name it the experience was unlike anything I've gone through before.  Will Ackerman is a task master, and he worked me hard.. pushed me in directions I didn't think I had in me.  Tom Eaton, engineer... let me just say, my music is in GREAT hands with him.  I am grateful to have met him and work with him.  He's very down to earth, and open. 

I had to be open about what inspired all of the music that was pouring out of me. That my friends is vulnerability.  Once I opened up, the music flowed, and tears fell, and WOW.  The album is so beautiful. 

Here is a sneak peek:

From my heart:

We have reached our goal of 4k, however, there is manufacturing still to be done, and promotion etc, shipping, marketing.  I'd like to at the very least hit 10k mark.  I know economics are tough, but $10.00 can get you a digital download of the album, AND previews of the music.. $15.00 can get you a physical signed copy AND a digital download. I would be honored to have you a part of this journey to release this album. Also, a percentage of the monies go to Hearing Health Foundation... a charity that is doing so much research on curing hearing loss! You know me, I'm all over that.. because I suffer from hearing loss in my left ear. In fact I am deaf in that ear. 

Click here to become a part of "Fire in the Rainstorm" - Pledge Music

Thank you for those that have joined my journey already and for those of you that have donated your time and talents for my album.

When I say, I love you.. I mean it.  I am VERY grateful as well. 

More to come.. and love, LOVE,


Saturday, April 12, 2014

Salty Saturday...

Why is it salty?  Just because "Fire in the Rainstorm" is getting close to being recorded.  I will be leaving this week for New England, and recording starts Thursday.  I will be writing about it, taking pictures and video.  

So many have taken the time to watch the video about my project at PledgeMusic and have chosen to come aboard.  We would welcome you with open arms!  Not only that you will be privy to the videos that I will be posting while working.. etc. 

Imaginary Road Studios taken in the fall of 2010

The Steinway B, that I'm going to record the music on! 
I've been talking about this since Fall of 2013, and here in a few days, we'll be recording!  The process will be grueling, the people I am working with, are FUN and professional! I am looking forward to it all. 

So come on over to PledgeMusic and join us.  You will be helping the project, AND Hearing Health Foundation.  I chose HHF to be my non-profit partner. A percentage of proceeds from the monies raised by my PledgeMusic project will go to them.  Their research is so important for those that have hearing loss, which is ME and many others I have come in contact with.

My thanks to those of you that have taken the time to come on board, to share, or donating your time and talent to "Fire in the Rainstorm".

Without you, this project would not be happening!  You have my thanks, and my love.



Thursday, April 3, 2014

April is the time..

Its been a CRAZY time.  January till now I've been working my butt of ( still am) but wanted to take some time to let you know what is going on. 

You may or MAY NOT know that I have partnered with Hearing Health Foundation.  When you come on board with me on my journey at PledgeMusic, portions of the funds will go to them.  I chose them because I am deaf in my left ear and their innovative research is to actually cure hearing loss!  Pretty sweet I tell you! I hope to be able to hear full bodied sound someday!

I am charting out all the music before I get to Vermont.  Its a BORING task.. but I have to do it and it will save time.  

I will be uploading videos and updates at Pledge! So come on over and join us if you have not already!! 

We are working on the cover art, the inside art.  I have a fabulous Art team that is gonna pull that together with me.  

Liner notes to write, which YOUR name can be immortalized with ink!  You can find out more about that at PledgeMusic. 

Most of all.. I am feeling particularly grateful for everyone past, present and hopefully the future.  

More to come!!


Saturday, March 1, 2014

A little Help from my friends, fans, sponsors, et al

Hello my Friends, Family, Fans! 

Just a short 61 days until I go to Vermont and work with Will Ackerman and Tom Eaton at Imaginary Road Studios. I am SO excited, nervous, bouncing off the walls, emotional about this whole experience. I know this album is going to be one of my best. I know I have said this about all of my work, but this time its just me and the piano.  

I would HONORED to have you join us already working to make this happen.. yes we are funded.. but EVERY little extra helps go towards marketing, manufacturing and promoting the album. Not only does it helps me, it helps Hearing Health Foundation.  A percentage will go to them.  I chose them to be a part of this project because I am deaf in my left ear.  They are working on research to prevent and cure hearing loss.  They are doing GREAT work! 

Should you choose to come on board and journey with me to record this album, you have several exclusives you can choose from! For example:  A signed album by Grammy Award Winning guitarist:  Will Ackerman,  Skype time with me for 30 minutes, original pieces of art from my friends Pat Sylvester and Barbara Ehlo Holbert. Fashion at its finest: vintage clothing from my cousin who works in the fashion industry.  ALL of my previous albums signed. Also video blogs of my time at Imaginary Road. Sneak peeks of the music! 

Hop on board today and pre-order your copy of "Fire in the Rainstorm" ~
Pledge Music: Fire in the Rainstorm



Friday, February 21, 2014

Prepping for Vermont.. what is that like?

I have to ramble tonight... as this week has been one of the most inspirational weeks I have had in a LONG long time. 

This week started a little rough..and yet I chose not to let it bring me down. Wednesday, I went to my friend's house and we had tea, and curled up in some warm blankets and watched "The Way" a movie starring Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez. It was a nice quiet evening which I really needed. My minions have been extraordinarily rascally. When my friend invited me over to her house, it was the perfect remedy and I was able to have some nice adult conversation and not only that the movie was extremely inspiring. I would suggest you rent it.. I highly recommend it. 

Thursday, was the sloshing of the tea at Coffee Tea and Tulips. A lovely tea room and eatery. An establishment full of ambience of Europe. I was with a wonderful friend of mine reconnecting after our lives have kept us intensely busy. It was an inspirational meeting of minds talking about Fire in the Rainstorm and the photos and other cool stuffas and life. 

Today, what an amazing day. I went back to the tea room, to meet yet another friend of mine... who has a very strong spiritual heart. Its one of those moments in life, where you go.. oh hey.. someone solid, understanding and un-demanding, giving and very accepting. 

I have been able to rehearse so much this week... technically I have room for improvement... essentially I don't want to over think the music.. but timing and the fingering aka the technical aspects of the music is stretching me so I've been working on scales to help with my playing. Its been JOYFUL, painful, frustrating, RELIEVING, and I am able to face my fears and my inadequacies head on.. and cutting myself some slack at the same time. 

My point of telling all of this, is that I firmly believe that God is preparing me emotionally, spiritually and of course technically for the session at Imaginary Road. I've never experienced such intense emotions, friendship, and learning... 

Regardless of my religious beliefs, my idiosyncrasies.. I feel very comfortable with WHO I am. Lately I have really become aware that I am ok if people don't like me, and I am ok if I do make mistakes, I am a flawed human. I am not perfect and to expect me to be, is asking for serious trouble! I strive to be the best I can be and I do stumble and fall. I feel the stronger than I have EVER felt and more FOCUSED on my life, my family and my life's work. Its SO comforting to feel so confident in who I am and what I am striving for. 

I wish I could give you the feelings and emotions telepathically to help you understand what lessons I have learned this week. 

Most of all, I am SO thankful for the broadcasters, my musician friends, for all of you that have accepted me for who I AM and for sharing my music with your 
audiences, your friends and family. This album could not be happening without you.. and I am SO grateful for that. I will NEVER forget... never. 

Friday, January 31, 2014

A Perspective..

Yesterday I was incredibly sad. I had to step away from everything for a while.  I spent the afternoon with my kids and then when the hubs came home from work we hung out. 

I've received many messages of encouragement.  And you know, there is always HOPE... EVEN if things don't work out as planned, HOPE is always there.  Thanks to my friend Heath Vercher for that inspiration.  

The beach inspires me too...

Then, today arrived and while this trial is hard, this too will pass. 

I am sure you are all dying to know what happened yesterday to put me in such a funk.. here it is:

I went up to Westwood in Los Angeles, and met with Dr. Gerald Berke. I went there to get a second opinion. Yes I do have Spasmodic Dysphonia.. and there are two options.. both I am not really keen about, but they are options nonetheless. Dr. Berke said I was a perfect candidate for the surgery.  However, he did not want to rush the surgery option until we tried the botox injection(s).  *sigh*  I asked him if the surgery would help with me being able to talk AND sing.  He said YES to the restoring of my voice to be able to talk like normal.  He said NO to the singing part. Which I did not want to hear.  

This is the trail I'm on.. my life filled with hope, in spite of the fog trials.

He also said the botox injection would allow me to talk like normal and sing normally. Its not a permanent solution.. but it is something. Its better than not having a voice at all. 

All of Dr. Berke's team were very encouraging, and explained to me what the Botox does. So.. I took a DEEP breath and Dr. Berke administered the injection.. and WOW OW OW OW ow OW!!! He had to inject both sides of my vocal chords.  He went in my neck with a syringe. He told me it would take a few days to kick in.  I drove home crying.  I have not cried since I was diagnosed.. and ALL the TRUTH that I learned yesterday just came crashing down upon me. 

Then today I awoke with a better perspective.  THANKS to ALL of you that have sent me messages of encouragement!!  Even tho this is not the way I wanted my life to be at this time, it is what it is.  I must adjust my thinking, and be grateful for many things I have. I am grateful for the month of APRIL

Imaginary Road - The Steinway B

So this is day 2.  I can feel a difference in my vocal chords. They don't feel tight.. and I can talk fairly well. There still is some dropping of syllables when I talk, but it feels right. 

Life can sure toss us monkey wrenches and wreck our plans if we let it.  I won't let this take me down and wreck my life.  Instead, I will see it as a time for me to grow and feel hope that all things in my life will turn out just fine in spite of the negativity. I will turn the negative into a positive. Besides.. GUESS where I am going in April?  To record my album with Will Ackerman as producer of "Fire in the Rainstorm"!!! 

Love to you all and my thanks.. MORE TO COME!


Sunday, January 19, 2014

My Story..

Most of you know I am on a musical journey.. a journey that has brought you with me.  Here are a few things you might not know about me: 

Did you know, that when I was born, I was born deaf in my left ear?  We didn't know that I was until I was 5.  So many tests, this doctor and that doctor exclaiming "Oh hey did you see that? Come and look" That did not deter me from listening to music.  I would lay down right next to the record player and put my right ear next to the speakers and listen to everything my parents had. Do I know what stereo sounds like? Not really.  I only knew what sounded right to me, what really mattered was how the music made me feel.  

Did you know that ,when I was 11 I had salmonella, and I was so sick.. I almost died? I was in the hospital from October until after Thanksgiving. Clearly I was meant to stay on this earth for a reason.  Even though I was extremely ill, I did not give up. I knew that my life here on this earth was not at an end. I knew the doctors and nurses that were trying to figure out what I had, and how to treat it were topnotch. I remember being in an isolation ward.  NO one could get into the room without being covered with hospital garb, and masks.  It was kinda scary to a young girl such as myself. However, with the help of the many medical professionals they were able to figure out what I had, and they were able to treat me and I recovered. 

Did you know that when I was 12 I broke my left arm?  I was thrown from a horse. I was in a lot of trouble that day because I was NOT supposed to be riding him. I ended up in the ER and MAN my arm hurt.. A LOT.. but it has never interfered with my ability to play the piano.

When I was 14, I was in a car accident with my eldest brother.  The police thought I was his wife! LOL... I always thought that that was VERY weird.  Did I look old enough to be married and REALLY?,  they thought my bro and I were married?  Lucky for us, we were ok.. SCARED to death but ok. I remember being up all night. I don't remember how we got home, my parents took me to the ER and I remember them taking alot of x rays to check my neck. Apparently I had whip lash. 

I was VERY shy in school. People used to think that was a weakness, and I was teased mercilessly at a Jr. High in Minnesota an in High School.  Those were painful times in my life, and that is when I started writing music.  I wrote so much on this piano:

The piano that started it all. This is when I heard about Windham Hill Records.  In my college years, I heard about George Winston, Phil Aaberg, Liz Story, Will Ackerman, Michael Hedges. 

I have had some incredibly painful lessons in my life in the past 5-6 years. This is what "Fire in the Rainstorm" is about.  My story, the ups the downs, watching my friends suffer too. We are ALL in this together. Even now.. I am struggling with my voice.  My vocals chords are a mess.  I can't sing now, and I cannot tell you how this feels to me. I won't give into to despair, because I know YOU and many others are there walking with me.  God is there too. 

I will continue to walk on my journey.  With all of you being a part of it.. what a blessing it is for me to have you there by my side.  

For those of you that want to be a part of my journey - I invite you! Yes YOU!
Join us here at in the Rainstorm We would be HONORED to have you come on board! 

Peace in Music ! ¡Paz en música!  音楽の平和! Vrede in Muziek! Frieden in der Musik! Ειρήνη στη μουσική! Pace nella musica! 음악에 있는 평화! 在音乐的和平! Paz na música


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

January... wait what?

Hi Everyone!

I hope you had a FANTASTIC Christmas, Holiday, Hanukah, Happy New Year celebration!  We certainly did. My family and I  did some geocaching ( google that) and gokarting, silly family games... and relaxing! 

Up on Kolob Mountain, Southern Utah. 

Now.. I look at our new calendars and cannot believe it is January... again.. but a NEW Year! wow! Time has passed SO quickly.. I don't even know HOW that happened?!

photo from by Jojjlk

Monday, reality hit again.  Kids went back to school, and the next chapter of working on "Fire in the Rainstorm" begins.  2 hour a day rehearsal starts.  THAT is my goal, and if I have learned in my life, I know that some days I won't be able to get 2 hours in, but THAT is where balance comes in to play. 

I want you to know how grateful I am to all of you.  Broadcasters:  thanks for getting my music heard on your shows and the interviews.  I am SO thankful that you play my music!  I also enjoy interacting with you via the web, and phone.  Its fun to connect with you.  

Those of you that have come on board at in the Rainstorm I could NOT have done this without you!! What a wonderful blessing it is to have you with me on my journey to recording, releasing and YES promoting the album.  Whether you pledge, share the links to the project with your friends, it all helps. YES we hit our goal, but we also have 114 days until the project is released.  This means, you have time to pre-order the album, AND you can pick up a few exclusives.  

Did you know that each exclusive is very unique?  There are gifts you can pick up for you and your friends!  You can have you name immortalized in the liner notes, you also can get a SIGNED copy of my producer/friend Will Ackerman's Grammy winning album "Returning".  I have some super talented friends that have created some unique art items, like a water color print that has a really beautiful mat with it. Also a necklace that was created just for the PledgeMusic campaign!  My cousin works in the fashion industry and donated 2 very special fashion jackets items that are one of a kind. New, never worn! 

Original water color by Barbara Ehlo Holbert

Fire in the Rainstorm necklace by Pat Sylvester

Take Charge Jacket size Small

Arabesque Jacket Size Small

Click here to listen to a preview track from "Fire in the Rainstorm".  Again, my thanks...

Peace in Music,