Friday, January 31, 2014

A Perspective..

Yesterday I was incredibly sad. I had to step away from everything for a while.  I spent the afternoon with my kids and then when the hubs came home from work we hung out. 

I've received many messages of encouragement.  And you know, there is always HOPE... EVEN if things don't work out as planned, HOPE is always there.  Thanks to my friend Heath Vercher for that inspiration.  

The beach inspires me too...

Then, today arrived and while this trial is hard, this too will pass. 

I am sure you are all dying to know what happened yesterday to put me in such a funk.. here it is:

I went up to Westwood in Los Angeles, and met with Dr. Gerald Berke. I went there to get a second opinion. Yes I do have Spasmodic Dysphonia.. and there are two options.. both I am not really keen about, but they are options nonetheless. Dr. Berke said I was a perfect candidate for the surgery.  However, he did not want to rush the surgery option until we tried the botox injection(s).  *sigh*  I asked him if the surgery would help with me being able to talk AND sing.  He said YES to the restoring of my voice to be able to talk like normal.  He said NO to the singing part. Which I did not want to hear.  

This is the trail I'm on.. my life filled with hope, in spite of the fog trials.

He also said the botox injection would allow me to talk like normal and sing normally. Its not a permanent solution.. but it is something. Its better than not having a voice at all. 

All of Dr. Berke's team were very encouraging, and explained to me what the Botox does. So.. I took a DEEP breath and Dr. Berke administered the injection.. and WOW OW OW OW ow OW!!! He had to inject both sides of my vocal chords.  He went in my neck with a syringe. He told me it would take a few days to kick in.  I drove home crying.  I have not cried since I was diagnosed.. and ALL the TRUTH that I learned yesterday just came crashing down upon me. 

Then today I awoke with a better perspective.  THANKS to ALL of you that have sent me messages of encouragement!!  Even tho this is not the way I wanted my life to be at this time, it is what it is.  I must adjust my thinking, and be grateful for many things I have. I am grateful for the month of APRIL

Imaginary Road - The Steinway B

So this is day 2.  I can feel a difference in my vocal chords. They don't feel tight.. and I can talk fairly well. There still is some dropping of syllables when I talk, but it feels right. 

Life can sure toss us monkey wrenches and wreck our plans if we let it.  I won't let this take me down and wreck my life.  Instead, I will see it as a time for me to grow and feel hope that all things in my life will turn out just fine in spite of the negativity. I will turn the negative into a positive. Besides.. GUESS where I am going in April?  To record my album with Will Ackerman as producer of "Fire in the Rainstorm"!!! 

Love to you all and my thanks.. MORE TO COME!


Sunday, January 19, 2014

My Story..

Most of you know I am on a musical journey.. a journey that has brought you with me.  Here are a few things you might not know about me: 

Did you know, that when I was born, I was born deaf in my left ear?  We didn't know that I was until I was 5.  So many tests, this doctor and that doctor exclaiming "Oh hey did you see that? Come and look" That did not deter me from listening to music.  I would lay down right next to the record player and put my right ear next to the speakers and listen to everything my parents had. Do I know what stereo sounds like? Not really.  I only knew what sounded right to me, what really mattered was how the music made me feel.  

Did you know that ,when I was 11 I had salmonella, and I was so sick.. I almost died? I was in the hospital from October until after Thanksgiving. Clearly I was meant to stay on this earth for a reason.  Even though I was extremely ill, I did not give up. I knew that my life here on this earth was not at an end. I knew the doctors and nurses that were trying to figure out what I had, and how to treat it were topnotch. I remember being in an isolation ward.  NO one could get into the room without being covered with hospital garb, and masks.  It was kinda scary to a young girl such as myself. However, with the help of the many medical professionals they were able to figure out what I had, and they were able to treat me and I recovered. 

Did you know that when I was 12 I broke my left arm?  I was thrown from a horse. I was in a lot of trouble that day because I was NOT supposed to be riding him. I ended up in the ER and MAN my arm hurt.. A LOT.. but it has never interfered with my ability to play the piano.

When I was 14, I was in a car accident with my eldest brother.  The police thought I was his wife! LOL... I always thought that that was VERY weird.  Did I look old enough to be married and REALLY?,  they thought my bro and I were married?  Lucky for us, we were ok.. SCARED to death but ok. I remember being up all night. I don't remember how we got home, my parents took me to the ER and I remember them taking alot of x rays to check my neck. Apparently I had whip lash. 

I was VERY shy in school. People used to think that was a weakness, and I was teased mercilessly at a Jr. High in Minnesota an in High School.  Those were painful times in my life, and that is when I started writing music.  I wrote so much on this piano:

The piano that started it all. This is when I heard about Windham Hill Records.  In my college years, I heard about George Winston, Phil Aaberg, Liz Story, Will Ackerman, Michael Hedges. 

I have had some incredibly painful lessons in my life in the past 5-6 years. This is what "Fire in the Rainstorm" is about.  My story, the ups the downs, watching my friends suffer too. We are ALL in this together. Even now.. I am struggling with my voice.  My vocals chords are a mess.  I can't sing now, and I cannot tell you how this feels to me. I won't give into to despair, because I know YOU and many others are there walking with me.  God is there too. 

I will continue to walk on my journey.  With all of you being a part of it.. what a blessing it is for me to have you there by my side.  

For those of you that want to be a part of my journey - I invite you! Yes YOU!
Join us here at in the Rainstorm We would be HONORED to have you come on board! 

Peace in Music ! ¡Paz en música!  音楽の平和! Vrede in Muziek! Frieden in der Musik! Ειρήνη στη μουσική! Pace nella musica! 음악에 있는 평화! 在音乐的和平! Paz na música


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

January... wait what?

Hi Everyone!

I hope you had a FANTASTIC Christmas, Holiday, Hanukah, Happy New Year celebration!  We certainly did. My family and I  did some geocaching ( google that) and gokarting, silly family games... and relaxing! 

Up on Kolob Mountain, Southern Utah. 

Now.. I look at our new calendars and cannot believe it is January... again.. but a NEW Year! wow! Time has passed SO quickly.. I don't even know HOW that happened?!

photo from by Jojjlk

Monday, reality hit again.  Kids went back to school, and the next chapter of working on "Fire in the Rainstorm" begins.  2 hour a day rehearsal starts.  THAT is my goal, and if I have learned in my life, I know that some days I won't be able to get 2 hours in, but THAT is where balance comes in to play. 

I want you to know how grateful I am to all of you.  Broadcasters:  thanks for getting my music heard on your shows and the interviews.  I am SO thankful that you play my music!  I also enjoy interacting with you via the web, and phone.  Its fun to connect with you.  

Those of you that have come on board at in the Rainstorm I could NOT have done this without you!! What a wonderful blessing it is to have you with me on my journey to recording, releasing and YES promoting the album.  Whether you pledge, share the links to the project with your friends, it all helps. YES we hit our goal, but we also have 114 days until the project is released.  This means, you have time to pre-order the album, AND you can pick up a few exclusives.  

Did you know that each exclusive is very unique?  There are gifts you can pick up for you and your friends!  You can have you name immortalized in the liner notes, you also can get a SIGNED copy of my producer/friend Will Ackerman's Grammy winning album "Returning".  I have some super talented friends that have created some unique art items, like a water color print that has a really beautiful mat with it. Also a necklace that was created just for the PledgeMusic campaign!  My cousin works in the fashion industry and donated 2 very special fashion jackets items that are one of a kind. New, never worn! 

Original water color by Barbara Ehlo Holbert

Fire in the Rainstorm necklace by Pat Sylvester

Take Charge Jacket size Small

Arabesque Jacket Size Small

Click here to listen to a preview track from "Fire in the Rainstorm".  Again, my thanks...

Peace in Music,