Sunday, October 27, 2013

A day of musing...

So today I was sitting in the congregation of Church... listening to the hymns... and decided to see if my voice was good enough to sing.  Oh no.. it wasn't.  

As I sat and listened to everyone singing.. I looked around and tears welled up in my eyes. I looked at everyone and thought to myself: "You guys don't know how good things are until something comes along in life to challenge and change , enjoy singing and talking because you never know what will be handed to you"   I for one.. didn't really know how frustrating it is to not have my voice for talking, singing.  Now it takes a lot of effort to talk now.  And there are days when I just wanna say.. to hell with that I am NOT talking.

I felt so sad I couldn't sing!  I keep asking why has this happened? What the heck?  I didn't vote for this.  I can't imagine my brother, who went through 18 years of this too.  He had surgery this past March to fix his voice.  He can now talk and he sounds great! 

I know I can't let this thing beat me.  I will keep moving along and do as much as I can and there is nothing I can do about it because it happened. I just need to do what the docs have suggested, stay the course and be strong in spite of it. 

I've been told that I would have times/weeks/days like these, where it seems like everything is against me.  Well.. I could take it that way, but I won't.  I WILL talk about it, and I WILL express my emotions regarding it, because I have very strong thoughts about this.

Writing this, brings me peace... 

more to come...


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