So today I was sitting in the congregation of Church... listening to the hymns... and decided to see if my voice was good enough to sing. Oh no.. it wasn't.
As I sat and listened to everyone singing.. I looked around and tears welled up in my eyes. I looked at everyone and thought to myself: "You guys don't know how good things are until something comes along in life to challenge and change , enjoy singing and talking because you never know what will be handed to you" I for one.. didn't really know how frustrating it is to not have my voice for talking, singing. Now it takes a lot of effort to talk now. And there are days when I just wanna say.. to hell with that I am NOT talking.
I felt so sad I couldn't sing! I keep asking why has this happened? What the heck? I didn't vote for this. I can't imagine my brother, who went through 18 years of this too. He had surgery this past March to fix his voice. He can now talk and he sounds great!
I know I can't let this thing beat me. I will keep moving along and do as much as I can and there is nothing I can do about it because it happened. I just need to do what the docs have suggested, stay the course and be strong in spite of it.
I've been told that I would have times/weeks/days like these, where it seems like everything is against me. Well.. I could take it that way, but I won't. I WILL talk about it, and I WILL express my emotions regarding it, because I have very strong thoughts about this.
Writing this, brings me peace...
more to come...