Strange title for my blog today. I am in a reflective, strange mood. November is sure to be a full month of activity within my family. Each weekend we will be busy working and supporting our daughter, and Claire will be home. This weekend has been a bit on the crazy side. We were supposed to go to Los Alamitos today, but I was asked to compose an improvisation of my favorite hymns at my church meeting today and so I will be sharing the improvisation during our main meeting today.
I am feeling the strains of our hectic week, and weekend so we opted to stay around the house to rest today. I do apologize to those of you that were expecting to see us at the Wings, Wheels and Rotors shindig. Nothing personal, (I also realized we have company coming over for dinner..) so I need to be around to make dinner.
As I contemplate the comings and goings, the planning, the moments where I can sneak some time to myself I have come to the "aha" moment in my life today. This realization is the main basis for my blog subject: Some things are better...untouched....
As a musician I am tempted to push myself over the edge marketing wise. Sure there is "never bad publicity, or bad marketing" or "too much marketing"... but sometimes I forget that I don't need to keep up with the "Kardashians" haha. I really do NOT need to keep up with any body. My expectations have been causing me some real stress. Like, not having "Fire in the Rainstorm" recorded yet, or not touring, or not doing what my friends are doing.. that sort of thing will send me to my grave because if I let it, it will run with me, with my hair standing on end, and I won't be able to keep up eventually I will become so depressed that I am not getting "there" fast enough.
The last 4 years I had been SO busy with recording, "Trillium", traveling, touring, performing, marketing, working at a music store, quitting the music store after a year, being a wife, Mom, teaching, interviews, meeting people, dejunking my life of people bringing me down.. etc, etc, etc.
I am exhausted!!!!
The past year, I have devoted my time to being in California and being with my family. I have enjoyed every minute of it, and just forcing myself to slow down has been the best gift I have given to myself.
So, I am not pushing myself right now to get everything done in one shot. I want everything I do to have a relaxed, un-hurried feel to it. That includes my music. Trying to make things happen when things are not cooperating to "happen", is like trying to make a horse drink water, when its obviously not going to happen right then and there. Hence leave things to progress in their natural order.
I will continue to work at a pace that will bring me to my goals in a better frame of mind.
Thank you for your support of all of what I am doing. I know you will be patient for the next album, and I hope you continue to interact with me here on the web! Who knows what we can accomplish!!
MORE to come...